Many people warned us that the first Sunday in church since Jacobs diagnosis would be very tough emotionally. We have known now for only 6 days that our dear son has bone cancer. This morning it was announced off the pulpit and prayed for by our Pasta Ted 😋. Last night as I thought about what the service may feel like, my anxiety shot up and I did not want to go. This morning I went to lay with Jacob in his bed. Jacob and myself both wake early these days, between 430-530 am so we talk and cuddle, read devotionals and bible texts people have sent us, or just lay silently together until it’s time to get up. Jacob told me he very much wanted to be at church this morning even though he was afraid, so we all went and I am so thankful we did. The love and support we feel is so critical to us and is one of the reasons we are able to stand right now and be “strong”.
Jacob and I stayed home from 2nd service for a much needed nap and after the rest of the crew came home we went for a walk. This was our first time out with Jacob in a wheelchair, which turned out to be much harder on me emotionally than I was prepared for. Jacob was so active, so full of life and energy, athletic and good at any sport or activity he tried. To see him in a wheelchair watching all the other kids run around ripped at my heart, and I’m sure his as well. We did discuss choosing a positive attitude, and I hope that through this long journey we can continue to show that for each other.
Jacob is no longer allowed to put any pressure on his leg. His bone is so full of cancer that the femur is brittle with a large area of not much bone left, so he is at a very high risk now of the femur snapping. It will be many, many, many months before we get to see Jacob even attempt to walk again.
Though all of this is incredibly overwhelming and we are so afraid of what the next weeks and months are going to look like, we remain strong and that strength can only come from God, the God who gives us peace that transcends all understanding.
Thank you again for the love, prayers and support you have shown us in so many ways. Without that all, too, it would be hard to stand and face this. We feel deeply that we are not alone.
Please continue to pray for our brave boy, that the operation to remove a piece of bone on Wednesday will go well and that he will feel calm and held in Gods faithful hands, and also that the upcoming PET scan will show no other signs of cancer in his body.
A verse from this mornings devotion
“Because of the Lords great love, we are not consumed, his compassion never fails. They are new every morning ; great is your faithfulness.” lam 3:22-23