After what felt like months of waiting, the whirlwind that we have been on has hit a point where it feels real. Up until now I have been solely on auto pilot, doing what needs to be done and pushing to get to the point of treatment, all while feeling like i was watching someone else’s nightmare unfold before me. Now it feels real. Now it’s setting in. This is really happening to my son. My child has agressive bone cancer. There will be long and many hospital stays. There will be long and many periods of being away from my other 3 sons and my spouse. There will be sickness and pain, and plenty of it. This is our new reality for the next 10 months or so.
Yesterday Jacob has his port surgery and all went well. He spent the rest of the day resting and recovering and was in quite a bit of pain from the incision in his neck. We had some company during the day and evening which really helped to break up the time and help get his mind off of the pain.
Chemotherapy began today. It’s a bit of a process to get it all started. 2-3 hours of hydration, followed by another 2 hours of premedication before the chemo can begin. By 3 pm chemo began, right when some family arrived which helped to ease some of our anxiety. Jacob did amazing today and even said “chemo is easy”. ☺️ There was some mix up with the medication mixed by pharmacy or the pump was going to quickly, so one of the medications was stopped for the day. This one (doxorubicin) is supposed to run for 48 hours straight but was stopped at 5 pm. Because they could not sort out exactly what was happening they discontinued the bag and he will get the next 24 hour dose tomorrow along with a second dose of Cisplatin. I finally managed to haul this boys skinny tush off the bed to get some fresh air. It will take some getting used to moving the wheelchair and the massive IV pole around but we will be pros soon enough! The sunshine felt wonderful and it was a nice getaway from the room. Ray and the boys came for dinner. They didn’t seem to phased by Jacob attached to many wires and bags and were mostly just thrilled there was a TV and an Xbox in the room. We went to the garden patio for an ice cream break and met another family and played some games with them.
Thankful that day 1 is now behind us and the initial dose of chemo is over. Anxiety will hopefully be less and less as we continue on and get used to all the different drugs Jacob will be receiving. I gave his hair a good tug to see if it would fall out – but I guess it takes a bit. 😋😋 Tonight I read a devotional with him based on romans 8:28. “I know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Paul was able to say this while enduring immense hardships. While we don’t understand why this is happening, we desperately want to cling to the promise and knowledge that God does work all things, even horrible things like cancer in my son, to something good….we can’t see that yet but we keep clinging to this. If it is true for Paul, it is true for Jacob – Even amongst pain and suffering.