I was really hoping to not have to post a blog until Jacob’s next week of chemo, but as we are learning, very quickly, we cannot plan much anymore. It’s cliche to say take it a day at a time but that is the only thing we can do and it helps to cope through it all. Looking too far into the future is terrifying, and looking even just ahead to tomorrow or a holiday in Vancouver a few days away can mean disappointment and let down. So it is indeed, one day at a time. Jacob had a high fever Wednesday night, so Ray and I took him to Abbotsford ER where they get bloodwork going to check counts and to start blood cultures to look for infection. His neutrophils came back at 0.2, so because it was so low they transferred us by ambulance to Children’s Hospital. When you are receiving high dose chemotherapy they don’t take any fever lightly. We will be admitted for 3 days at least so Jacob can receive antibiotics and once the blood cultures come in, they can decide what to do from there. If an infection is present, we stay, and if nothing shows we can probably go home provided his neutrophils have come up to at least 0.5.
The 2 days we had at home together was really nice. Jacob felt decent overall, just very tired. We recently got a hot tub so we enjoyed some family time in there. Yesterday Jacob spent the day building a gaming computer with a friend. It was so good to see him busy with something other than medical related things and feeling decent enough to engage and learn something new. It is hard though seeing the younger boys for such a short time before having to leave them again. We know they are in good hands, but I want them to be in my hands.
A few verses from a devotional I read with Jacob last night.
Have you not heard?
Have you not understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
29 He gives power to the weak
and strength to the powerless.
30 Even youths will become weak and tired,
and young men will fall in exhaustion.
31 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint.
We continue to put our hope and trust in God. Nowhere in the Bible does it say to bear your burdens alone, but it does tell us that God never tires, never gets weak. Even though we grow weak and weary this text reminds us that the Creator of the Universe will carry us, and give us strength and power, even now during these very trying and scary days.